Are you a "Babbling Brook" or a "Dead Sea"?
I have mentioned that my husband and I are off to a shakey marriage of only seven months. We completely love each other but there is so much more that we really need to work on. His problem is that he has difficulty talking to me. And you might say how did you marry someone like that? Especially, since we have been together for seven years before we got married. Well, I am not sure of the correct answer. Maybe, I didn't find out until now, when many things that should be talked about in a marriage are not. A co-worker bought me a book as a wedding gift called The Five Love Languages, How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. I started reading it a few weeks ago and boy does it help me see some light. I am not done reading it just yet, but what I have read so far is damn good. Since the husband and I are realizing out loud that we have a problem, I start to tell him about one of the chapters I read in my favorite new book.
It went something like this.... There are two personality types. One is "the Dead Sea". The Dead sea receives but does not give. It goes nowhere. This personality type receives many experiences, feelings, and thoughts and stores the information instead of talking about it. The second personality, "the Babbling Brook", is the complete opposite. Whatever comes in through the mouth gate, ear gate, or eye gate flows right out the mouth. They must talk about every emotion they are feeling . They may even be talking out loud and no one is around. The book explains that many times A "Dead Sea" marries a "babbling Brook" because it is a very attracting match. The "Babbling Brook" gets all of their words in while the Dead Sea" is content just listening. So, I explain this to my husband and responds with "How do you change a "Dead Sea or a Babbling Brook" and why would you want to if that is the person you fell in love with?" Of course, I had the answer that was given in the book but was it really true what he was saying? Well, the answer that the book gave was to talk about three things that happened through out the day to each of you and talk about how it made you feel. Therefore, the "Babbling Brook" can learn to listen and the "Dead Sea" can learn to share.
I don't know if this book is feeding me a bunch of BS but it sounds good. So, if anyone has any advice for me let me know. And of course, I am the "Babbling Brook".
It went something like this.... There are two personality types. One is "the Dead Sea". The Dead sea receives but does not give. It goes nowhere. This personality type receives many experiences, feelings, and thoughts and stores the information instead of talking about it. The second personality, "the Babbling Brook", is the complete opposite. Whatever comes in through the mouth gate, ear gate, or eye gate flows right out the mouth. They must talk about every emotion they are feeling . They may even be talking out loud and no one is around. The book explains that many times A "Dead Sea" marries a "babbling Brook" because it is a very attracting match. The "Babbling Brook" gets all of their words in while the Dead Sea" is content just listening. So, I explain this to my husband and responds with "How do you change a "Dead Sea or a Babbling Brook" and why would you want to if that is the person you fell in love with?" Of course, I had the answer that was given in the book but was it really true what he was saying? Well, the answer that the book gave was to talk about three things that happened through out the day to each of you and talk about how it made you feel. Therefore, the "Babbling Brook" can learn to listen and the "Dead Sea" can learn to share.
I don't know if this book is feeding me a bunch of BS but it sounds good. So, if anyone has any advice for me let me know. And of course, I am the "Babbling Brook".
posted by Babbling Brook at 6:47 PM
2 Comments:
I'd start small. You know those dumb quizzes that people are always putting on the blogs? No offense to those bloggers who do that, and I've been known to myself. Anyway, what if you read him the questions and have him answer them? It would provide a really simple topic to talk about without having to think too much about what to say. And make sure he knows he can trust you with what he's saying without being judged or put down or anything else negative. I almost wrote nagative. I'm not saying you do that, but if someone gets shut down in communicating, they're going to learn not to. But there's my two cents. Start small and trivial. And don't get frustrated. Nurture progress. Oh, and don't take anyone's advice! LOL!!
Interesting concept. I'm a combination, one day "Dead Ocean", the other one "Babbling Brook".
It's some food for thought.
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