I Had to do it Again
I had to look! I had to look! Now, I am sick. I want to vomit. It is back all over again. I can't stand not to snoop. It is in my genes for God sakes. Did I really think I could stop? Now, I sound like a fuckin drug addict. The not knowing made me insane. I had to and now I am paying for it. Now, all I will be able to do is think about it. All day at school. All day at work tomorrow. I probably won't be able to sleep. The funny thing is that it was the dream I just woke up to that made me snoop once again. My dream was that it was my husband's b-day party and there was a ton of people there. All these girls kept showing up that I didn't know and they all would wish him a happy birthday and kiss him right on the lips. And of course, he said that they were all just friends. I did not know one of them nor, did he introduce me to any of them. His own wife not knowing any of his "friends", but "friends" that kiss on the lips of a married man? AHHHHHHHHH!
The real life story is that my husband has his cell phone attached to him at all times. Seriously, at all times. He sometimes falls asleep with it in his pj pants' pockets. No one calls our house phone to get a hold of him. Sometimes when we are together and his phone rings he will not answer it. When I would ask who was calling he would just say some name that I had never heard of before. Apparently, a "friend" that I had never met. And he will never keep his phone out in the open. If it would be out in the open I might just see who is calling.
Well, this all added up and it started making me suspicious, which I think any normal person would be. Wouldn't you? Well, I started snooping which only led to arguments and heartache. The more I snoop, it seems the worse it gets. Now, he has even put a code on his phone so that when he is sleeping at nite I can't get into it. Snooping while he was sleeping started to be a ritual. I wouldn't sleep at nite just so that I could wait until he was really sleeping. Then I would never go back to sleep because what I had found would have me sick. The only thing I can do now is look to his online cell phone number account and see who he calls and who calls him and it also shows the text messages too. The problem with all of this is I don't know what anyone is saying I can only assume. The biggest problem is that I can't say anything because he would know that I am snooping. But really who is in the wrong here, him for lying to me or, me for snooping?
Oh, how did I get into this mess? What were they talking about? Why did he call her so many times and never once called me? Can it ever be fixed? What did they text message to each other? Can I ever trust him?
Where is my Guardian Angel?
The real life story is that my husband has his cell phone attached to him at all times. Seriously, at all times. He sometimes falls asleep with it in his pj pants' pockets. No one calls our house phone to get a hold of him. Sometimes when we are together and his phone rings he will not answer it. When I would ask who was calling he would just say some name that I had never heard of before. Apparently, a "friend" that I had never met. And he will never keep his phone out in the open. If it would be out in the open I might just see who is calling.
Well, this all added up and it started making me suspicious, which I think any normal person would be. Wouldn't you? Well, I started snooping which only led to arguments and heartache. The more I snoop, it seems the worse it gets. Now, he has even put a code on his phone so that when he is sleeping at nite I can't get into it. Snooping while he was sleeping started to be a ritual. I wouldn't sleep at nite just so that I could wait until he was really sleeping. Then I would never go back to sleep because what I had found would have me sick. The only thing I can do now is look to his online cell phone number account and see who he calls and who calls him and it also shows the text messages too. The problem with all of this is I don't know what anyone is saying I can only assume. The biggest problem is that I can't say anything because he would know that I am snooping. But really who is in the wrong here, him for lying to me or, me for snooping?
Oh, how did I get into this mess? What were they talking about? Why did he call her so many times and never once called me? Can it ever be fixed? What did they text message to each other? Can I ever trust him?
Where is my Guardian Angel?
posted by Babbling Brook at 7:59 AM
3 Comments:
Shitty situation. I say, you have nothing to hide, tell me who's texting or calling you.
Sorry, but putting a code on a cell phone is just too much.
My wife has no problem with all the Internet friends I have made (apart from the fact that I spend way too much time surfing). She doesn't care if they are women or men, she knows I don't flirt.
One thing I learned is that an honest conversation can be an eye opener. Why don't you ask him to explain everything, so that you aren't worried.
When my husband started going out to the car whenever his phone rang, I knew something was up. If it bothers you this much, you need to say something. You don't need to tell him you were snooping, just say that it bothers you that he's so secretive and you need to know if something is going on. I wish I would have.
Beth
http://supermom3604.diaryland.com
A lock code? Umm, people people usually only hide things if they have something to hide.
It sounds like you don't trust him already. Trust is so important. This sounds like a very bad situation.
I think it's best to get this out in the open, but before you do that, figure out what you would do if you knew the truth and it were the worst possible thing. What would you do? I recommend you don't pursue this until you can answer that question.
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